24 March 2011

Sometimes sad can't be avoided

It's Thursday night and it feels like I'm at the end of a long weekend. I'm not...I worked yesterday. Maybe it's because Rob's been around. He's on Spring Break and came down on Tuesday night and left this morning, Thursday. We haven't had this much time together in ages. I really miss our weekends together.

I spent the day...are you ready? At my parents!! At my second home. I thought it was going to be an easy day there since all the flooring was installed Tuesday and Wednesday. I thought I'd just be putting things away. Wrong. Dust covers every surface and I should have anticipated that. At first I was so frustrated and depressed about it. My sister Lisa texted that she'd be at the house Friday night and Saturday and she'd be working on it too. My brother said it took more than a day to take everything out of the house and it would take more than one to put it back in. I wound up staying 7 hours and got a whole lot done. The floors look fabulous. My mother's very depressed. I spoke to her on the phone this morning. She complained that she was cold and that the carpet had probably kept the house warm. I said it was also a fall hazard. She told me she didn't call for a speech, just to tell me what to get from the grocery store. That shut me up. My mom fell yesterday and got a lecture from everyone. She was speeched-out. Yes, another fall, but she's OK. My brother stopped by today while I was there and he and my mom were in the garage for a while. When they walked into the house my brother said, Mom says she's depressed. He said, Mom, you have nothing to be depressed about. I said, to her ear, I'd be depressed if I were you and it's OK, and I hugged her. She cried. It's all very sad. As she went to bed I hugged her and told her I'd never leave her. And I mean it. The stroke really stole my mother's life, and every year since then has been downhill. I wouldn't want to live her life. That's why I want to help so much...because I love her and her life is so hard. And so sad. I'm hoping she'll feel better as her house gets put back together. Life has been hard on all of us since my parent's last hospitalization and inpatient rehab. It's been especially hard on my mother since she's been home (my dad seems fine). I'm hoping tomorrow is a better day for her. She has Amanda overnight and all day tomorrow. My nephew and his friend are stopping by to hook up the big TV and sound system, so there will be people and activity in the house. My sister will spend the night. Maybe the sun will shine.

8 comments:

Jamie said...

It hurts so much to watch someone you love so much suffer and be sad. I know how much you want to take all of that away for her, maybe that is the hardest part. She is lucky to have great,helpful kids and I know she knows that. You are a wonderful daughter, Cheryl. Seriously.

Have a great evening - okay? Hugs.

Lena said...

You are so wonderful to your mom. It is good to validate her feelings or else she would feel like she was going crazy. You and your family are doing so much to make your parents' life as functional and comfortable as possible, and it is so admirable!

There is a lot that is sad about life transitions. So every once in a while it is OK to stop and just feel it and then move forward.

Noofy said...

My heart is so heavy for all of you. Keep hugging your Mom, reassuring her you will always be there for her, she needs you. I think you're right, once the house is put back together it will help get them back in their normal routines. I take it your Mom's fall was because she wasn't being careful or probably doing something she shouldn't have been doing (hence, speeches)? Thankfully, she's okay. Tomorrow's forecast is sunny, I hope you have a brighter day.

Leann said...

Change is difficult for everyone. The older we get the more difficult it is. This has to be very difficult for her, watching everything around her change, including herself. She is very fortunate to have children who love her enough to help her through those changes. God bless you and your siblings.

Happyone : ) said...

Really sorry about your mom. It must be so hard for her after being so active. You are a wonderful daughter.

C.A. said...

I am with you, my friend. So hard to see our parents age and lose their quality of life. I am thinking of you all, and hoping that the sadness does not last long. You're such an awesome person, Cheryl. I know your parents are proud to call you their daughter. Big Hugs...

Josie said...

Sometimes sad is the most legitimate feeling for a situation, especially when it involves the people we love and we feel helpless to take away the bigger issues in their lives. The many little things you do, the hours spent in making their lives easier and safer and keeping them company, those are the gifts of grace from a loving daughter. They are so blessed to have you. As I grow older I watch older couples out and about and it often fills me with sadness too. I don't like the way life progresses one bit!

KathyA said...

I feel for your mom, too.

They are both so lucky to have you, Cheryl. You're such a wonderful daughter.

Photos of the new flooring?
Does your mom like sweaters?

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